Recently I was a baby shower and in all the talk about kids, the topic of "blowouts" came up. The father-to-be innocently asked what a blowout is...
This, my friend, is a blowout story.
Today Andy had to go into work. Marissa's fiance is in town, so they were out and about. Alli was at a play date next door. I was home with Ruby and June. Ruby and I made some art projects while June slept. Fun stuff.
When June woke up, she was hungry. So I nursed her. Then she began to grunt, which is not uncommon. The diaper rumbles started... and they kept going. I was not fearful... and then I felt the warm, moist feeling on my lap. June must have been in the wrong position, because everything went up her back, through her shirt, and onto me. By "everything" I mean
poo.
I sat very still until the grunts and rumbles stopped. Deep breath. Warm wet spots were spreading. It's a gross feeling.
Then the doorbell rang.
Seriously.
I thought about not answering it, but Alli was due back any minute. So with June in hand (I couldn't put her down), I went to the door. Luckily, it was just Alli and her friend Elijah.
I had poo on my shirt and it was dripping down my jeans. I was holding June and her gooey back was facing out.
Alli gagged at the sight (she is sensitive to yucky stuff). Elijah's eyes were huge as he looked me up and down. His eyes stopped on my pant leg. Then he smiled at me... as if saying, "Is that what I think it is?!" Elijah kept chatting away about whatever (I wasn't listening very well) and I was trying to get him to go back home so I could start cleaning up this horrific mess. He may have still been talking when I shut the door.
For a diaper explosion like this, preparation is needed before changing. I laid out the vinyl changing pad, wipes, a garbage can, towels... and then I proceeded with caution. Gross.
June and I both needed a shower. All of the soiled clothes went into the sink: June's shirt, onesie, and pants, my shirt and jeans too. Everything needed stain remover. Here is her shirt... that is not mustard.
* There was a picture here, but Andy thought it was way too gross.
June was delighted to be clean again. And naked too.
Her belly looks huge in this picture... she had just sucked in a big breath because she was so excited to be naked.
While the water warmed up, June peed on the mat.
After a quick yet thorough shower, diaper for June, and new outfits for both of us, I set about cleaning up the damage. Clean up involved Clorox wipes, Oxi-Clean, and a load of laundry... and scrubbing a spot on the carpet. And wiping down the hallway floor. Whew.
I would classify this experience as a
major blowout.