number three

Yes.  I am pregnant.

And this is a tricky little one already.  I had an ultrasound at 11 weeks to see how far along I was.  My midwife thought I was further along than the calendar would suggest.  It turns out that I am just big this time.  Cool.  All was well with the baby.

At 12 weeks, the midwife couldn't find the heartbeat.  She said not to worry, come back at 13 weeks.  I have never, ever heard a heartbeat from my womb at or before 12 weeks... without a real ultrasound machine.  I tried not to worry.

Today I went in for the 13 week heartbeat check.  I was nervous.  Very.  My blood pressure was higher than normal, enough that the nurse wanted to recheck it.  I calmed myself enough for a normal second reading.  When the midwife came in, she put the doppler scanner probe on my belly and started circling it around, searching for the heartbeat.  Nothing.  She continued to move it around.  Nothing.  She had me change positions.  Nothing.  It was the longest five minutes of remaining calm while the look of concern was growing in her eyes.  She said, "I think we need to do an ultrasound."

I was freaking out inside... and it was starting to surface.  Before Alli, I had two miscarriages.  Both were late in the first trimester.  Both were awful.  I focused on my breathing to keep from crying.  I was trying so hard to breath easy so my belly wouldn't shake... so she could find that heartbeat!  I was going through some sad scenarios in my head.

Then, she found it!  Only for a second.  I think I was shaking too much... with relief.  It took her another minute to find the heartbeat again.  It was definitely a baby heartbeat, quick, and music to my ears.  What relief!  Five second later the battery in her machine died.  What timing!

So baby #3, the mini-van-baby, will be joining us in early January (or maybe in late, late December for a nice tax break?).

Stay tuned.